The joy Margaret Doyle has experienced at her beloved weekly hospice Day Programme will get a special mention at her funeral.
The colourful, extroverted and fun-loving Margaret, with her bright orange hair and fondness for vibrant clothes, will make sure of it. A skilled wordsmith, the 71-year-old intends writing her own eulogy. It will undoubtedly be a little bit naughty and more than a little entertaining.
Until recently Margaret wasn’t even going to have a funeral.
One of her pals from the Day Programme, spoke to her recently while she was out having coffee with another friend. “He told me how much he cared about me and that I must have a funeral. That changed my reality, and I changed my mind. I thought, what right have I got to take away from people celebrating my life. So, I’m going to write my own eulogy and talk about the Day Programme. It is just so special. We are all from different walks of life. We joke and tease each other. We don’t hold back; we just say it as it is.”
Margaret describes the day programme as something special, the highlight of her week. “A place where I can be my ridiculous self.”
Held in the Iona lounge at Te Rangimarie every Wednesday, the attendees are provided with entertainment such as speakers, guest artists / musicians, outings, and delicious morning teas and lunches. “We have fun. We don’t get maudlin. We don’t talk about our illnesses. But if we want to we can. More importantly we laugh. It is about celebrating our lives in a safe environment, appreciating the love you’ve had, the people you’ve met along the way.”
Margaret really enjoyed her diverse working life. Two favourite jobs were working for BDO accounting firm and prior to that at the Ministry of Education, travelling around New Zealand polytechnics and universities teaching administrators about student loans and allowances. “I’ve been really blessed.” Another special time in her life was the six weeks she looked after her mum when she was dying. “It was the best time of my life. She was a great woman. My best teacher.”
Margaret’s cancer is in her spine, ribs and lungs. The cancer metastasised after the initial breast cancer. She is particularly annoyed at the cancer in her lungs, having never smoked in her life.
“I didn’t choose to have chemo. I just chose to let God take my journey. When my time comes, my time has come.” However, she did agree to have palliative radiotherapy in her spine to avoid becoming paralysed in the knowledge she lived alone.
Margaret is comforted to know the hospice nurses visit her at home and are only a phone call away 24/7. She has been with family members who have benefitted from hospice stays. “They were cared for in a beautiful, caring way. Nothing was too much trouble. I don’t think my brother was ever left alone. They wrap people up in their care. I can’t fault hospice.”