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Grandparents and Grandchild Relationship

Louise & Anton Boyder

Hospice Taranaki Kowhaia

When Anton Boyder was finally diagnosed with lung cancer on October 28 last year the news was bad. The cancer was by then Stage 4 and spreading.

His wife, Louise Boyder, and their children, Sammi (18) and Anthony (17), are now coming to terms with his sudden loss and the trauma they all went through. They were not to know they were to have eight short months before his death. Anton, who worked for Tegel, was just 46. The big man loved life and adored his family.

Helping them through their ordeal over the last four months were the hospice staff. They constantly visited Anton when he was hospitalised with a broken right hip and crumbling left thigh and a painful jaw as the cancer spread to his brain.

“He went through hell. But he never complained once. He tried to be his jolly self all the way through. He was always asking for double helpings of the homemade hospice soup!”

“Every day the hospice staff came to see him in hospital. They were great. Fantastic. They were there from the beginning to the end” Louise says. She credits Dr Tom Bull and nurse Bronwyn for organising medical staff to tell her the end was not far off. At the time the estimate was 12 months. “If it wasn’t for them we would still be in limbo”.

And she will always be grateful to Dr Bull who had earlier pushed for Anton to have a hip replacement. For a short time it took away all the pain, she says, and he could walk again. Dr Kay Abraham, who works closely with hospice, was effective in getting him onto a trial drug at the cost of $20,000 a month. But it was too late.

As the end approached, hospice nurse Bronwyn arranged for him to return home in an ambulance. Another nurse, Letiesha, did an awesome job organising a hospice bed and all the equipment he needed at home. Louise says “Any time I called them they would send one of the nurses. We had home visits and regular phone calls”.

“They answered all my questions and were always up front and honest. They were also great with the kids. The hospice nurses were so patient. There were lots of people coming to see Anton but they just quietly worked through the people coming and going. I can’t fault them. Even the after care was great”. Anton died at home on June 25. Louise is thankful that the nurses who were with him at the end helped her with what she then needed to do, ringing the funeral director and the doctor.

In gratitude, Louise has since donated Anton’s wheelchair to hospice.