Glenda Rowlands and John Harvey are now firm friends but their past lives could not have been more different.
Unlikely mates, Glenda and John have met under tragic circumstances. They both have terminal illnesses and as such are regular attendees at Te Rangimarie Hospice’s popular weekly activities day at David St, New Plymouth.
Glenda, 82 next month, worked hard much of her life cleaning at the hospital: “I would be down on my knees scrubbing off the black marks on the stairs. It was tough.” After work, she loved her tennis and bowls and brought up two daughters who are keeping a close eye on her.
In a vastly different world, 70-year-old John’s earlier life was spent in and out of prison. When on the loose, his all-time passion was paragliding. “I was born to fly. I love the freedom of flying.” But it was nearly the end of him when he crashed into the side of a mountain. The surgeon who put him back together made him promise he wouldn’t paraglide again. Don’t tell the surgeon, but John is busting to try out a flying suit. It’s top of his bucket list.
Glenda has advanced lung and bowel cancer while John’s lungs are also in a serious state as a result of decades smoking dope and tobacco. He has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, better known as COPD. “I can’t smoke anything. I won’t smoke anything. Giving up smoking was the hardest thing I ever did. And now I’m headed for death.”
A simple task like going to the supermarket is more like climbing a mountain into rarified air. He is forced to stop frequently to restore his limited breathing.
Glenda says she is grateful that she suffers no pain which she attributes to swallowing no less than eight pills in the morning and eight at night. Lunch times are easier when there’s just a couple to ingest. “I don’t want to know how long I’ve got.”
John became a Christian 30 years ago and never looked back on the bad old days. “I didn’t find God, God found me.”
He is immensely grateful to the hospice doctors. “They are my saviours,” he says. He has been attending the day programme for 2 ½ years now and loves the camaraderie, the food and activities. He, Glenda and several others don’t just meet up at the Wednesday get together, they are in constant contact during the rest of the week providing one another with support.
“My GP referred me to hospice. I thought ‘this is me. I want this’. Everyone is in the same boat. We are all dying. What else are you going to do? They are all my friends. And most of us are connected on line. We are our own support group.
“Day Programme Co-ordinator, Julie, usually organises a guest speaker or we might go out. We get to do lots of things. And we always get a nice meal. The fabulous part to me is that everyone is so caring, so giving. And it’s all free!
“Then on any given Wednesday one is not there anymore. Three or four have passed while I’ve been going,” John says.
Glenda tells how, three and a half years ago, she had no cancer symptoms and only discovered she had lesions in her lungs after having a heart attack and being sent to Waikato to get stents. She had an MRI which revealed the cancer. With the cancer diagnosis, stents were no longer an option. “They sent me home and connected me with hospice. I smoked for many years. I’m now on puffers and I can’t walk far. But I do not feel sick.”
Glenda’s daughter Lynette says her mum has completely come out of her shell since joining up with the hospice activities group. “She’s never home now.” Glenda is beaming. “Yes, since going I’ve met a lot of people and reconnected with a lot of friends. I’m so very, very lucky. I absolutely love the Day Programme. I look forward to it every week.”
She nearly didn’t join up. Activities co-ordintor rang her and Glenda initially turned it down saying it wasn’t for her. The co-ordinator persevered. “How do you know? Please come and give it a go. No strings attached,” the co-ordinator urged her. “Now I hate missing it!” Glenda says.
The hospice admits patients for symptom management, respite care and end of life care. The admissions to one of the five large, well-appointed ensuite rooms, which give privacy and dignity to patients at Te Rangimarie, are short-term. The unit is staffed 24/7 by a skilled team committed to providing personalised care.
When patients are admitted to the hospice inpatient unit, families are encouraged to stay close and are welcome to use the whānau areas at no cost. These include a bedroom, lounge and kitchen.
John and Glenda have both been able to take advantage of a stay in the inpatient unit while their conditions were stabilised and their drug levels sorted.
“I was in the inpatient unit a month ago,” Glenda says. It took five days to regulate me because I was still in pain and radiation didn’t work for me. I believe they’ve got me on the right amount now. I just take every day as it comes.” She is back living in her own Westown home with hospice support just a phone call away. John has more recently moved into a resthome to ensure he gets the care he needs, again with hospice back-up.
At present Te Kahu Pairuri Hospice Taranaki is supporting 261 people and their whanau right across Taranaki offering wrap-around care to the terminally ill.
